As someone who posts multiple articles a week dealing with issues of faith and Christian life, I receive my fair share of comments. Most of those from individuals who disagree with something I have said. Through this, I have learned that many Christians do not know how to properly handle a disagreement according to scripture. Myself included.
Where we often go wrong is by completely ignoring the teaching we are given in the book of James. God instructed us through the writing of James to be slow to speak and to get angry. But always quick to listen. Something that is often much easier to say than to practice.
James 1:19 (ESV)
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
Many times I have received comments where I can only assume the person never read the article but simply commented on the title. Or only on the first few sentences. As the point they made in opposition actually aligned with the message of the article. At other times I have found myself only getting through the first line of a contrary comment before getting upset. Then starting to formulate my reply while simply scanning the rest of what they said. A practice I am strongly trying to correct.
Doing those things are in direct opposition to what we are taught to do in scripture. Christians need to really listen to what others are saying. Taking in all they have to say and processing it before we respond. Often times we may find that we agree even though we reach that point in different ways. When it comes to disagreeing as Christians the first step is to always listen to all the other party has to say.
If we still disagree once we have heard them out that does not mean we jump in with all the fury we can muster. The Bible instead teaches that God’s people are to be kind and patient. Gently instruct those who oppose them. Our hope should be to lead people to truth and salvation. A goal that will never be accomplished by anger. As they say, you will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
2 Timothy 2:24–26 (ESV)
24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
We also must never forget our call to love one another. No matter how much we may disagree that doe not negate the fact that we must love others. When we are properly practicing love the characteristics of love become apparent. Which are patience, kindness, believing, hope, and enduring. Not envious, boastful, arrogant, irritable, resentful, or instant-on its own way. In any disagreement, we should work to make sure we lead with love and allow it to control our actions.
John 13:34 (ESV)
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
1 John 4:11 (ESV)
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (ESV)
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
When we disagree on matters of scripture and belief it is so important that we don’t rely on our own understanding. Or what we think the Bible says about that subject. We must turn to the scripture and search for the truth just as we see the Berean church did.
Paul brought the message of Christ to the Berean Jews and they would not have agreed with it immediately. In fact, their first reaction would have been to oppose such a message just as other Jews of the time did. But Acts records that the Bereans were nobler than others. Instead of coming out in strong opposition right away. They listened to all Paul had to say and then searched the scripture on their own to be sure what he said was true.
Acts 17:11 (ESV)
11 Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.
When we disagree on a topic of faith we need to turn to the scripture for two main reasons. To make sure that we are not proclaiming something as truth that the Bible does not teach. While also taking the time to look at what the other party said through scripture. To see if what they said holds up to scripture. The Bible is the end all be all on the Christian faith. So we should always look to see what it has to say on any subject we find ourselves disagreeing on.
2 Timothy 3:16 (ESV)
16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,
This is how the Bible teaches Christians are to disagree with both the lost and even with other Christians. First, we really listen to what someone else is saying. Then we respond patiently, kindly, and with the love of God. Letting the scripture settle the issue and declare what the truth is. Never coming at another person in a mean and hateful way. But responding according to the scripture and always sticking to the truth, not our options.
If we are right then approaching a disagreement in this way will work to correct the other person. If we are wrong then doing so will help us to easily see the error of our ways. Christians will disagree we see it happen even in the Bible. The important thing is how we respond when we disagree with someone. Doing so in the way we are taught within the pages of the Bible.
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