Mean, bitter, hateful, rude, and biting comments should not come from the mouth or mind of God’s people. We are called to live above such things and reflect the loving, kind, gentle, and merciful attitude of our God. Our speech should be delivered with the fruit of the spirit. Working not to tear down others but to build them up. Never should we accuse others by claiming they are not a true Christian. Nor should we use sarcastic language that hurts far more than it could ever help.
Do you think that is the way the early church operated? Do you think Priscilla and Aquila talked like that when they shared the truth that Apollos was missing with Him? Or that Paul condemned the disciples of John who had not yet heard of the Holy Ghost? No, not at all. Instead, they spoke to them in kindness and love. With real concern about whether they were experiencing all God had to offer or not. They were met with a welcome and accepting response because they choose to be kind and loving. Instead of being rude and arrogant.
Acts 18:24–27 (ESV)
24 Now a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was an eloquent man, competent in the Scriptures. 25 He had been instructed in the way of the Lord. And being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things concerning Jesus, though he knew only the baptism of John. 26 He began to speak boldly in the synagogue, but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately. 27 And when he wished to cross to Achaia, the brothers encouraged him and wrote to the disciples to welcome him. When he arrived, he greatly helped those who through grace had believed,
Acts 19:1–7 (ESV)
1 And it happened that while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul passed through the inland country and came to Ephesus. There he found some disciples. 2 And he said to them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?” And they said, “No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.” 3 And he said, “Into what then were you baptized?” They said, “Into John’s baptism.” 4 And Paul said, “John baptized with the baptism of repentance, telling the people to believe in the one who was to come after him, that is, Jesus.” 5 On hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 6 And when Paul had laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they began speaking in tongues and prophesying. 7 There were about twelve men in all.
If we want to truly have an impact on this world we must follow the teachings of the Bible. Teaching that not only shows us how we are to live but even how we are to speak. We all know that what we say matters but it seems as though many fail to realize just how important how you say something is. Anger, hate, bitterness, blame, and judgment are never going to result in the lost coming to Christ. But speech that is seasoned in love, patience, meekness, humility, kindness, and so on will. This is how every Christian is called to speak to others by God in His word.
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Colossians 4:6 (ESV)
6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
Matthew 15:11 (ESV)
11 it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”
Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
When we come to someone with speech that is rough and abrasive it will only cause them to put their shields up. We will never be able to reach their heart and have a positive effect on them. No matter how true your message is or how much you actually love and care for them it won’t matter if you come at them with the wrong attitude. But if we take the biblical approach and come in the right manner of speech we will be able to have the most impactful effect on them. As King Solomon wrote the words of a wise man win favor.
Ecclesiastes 10:12 (ESV)
12 The words of a wise man’s mouth win him favor,
but the lips of a fool consume him.
The proper speech for a Christian does not only come into effect when trying to reach the lost though. The Bible is clear that as believers are speech should be free of harsh, cruel, crude, filthy, and anger-laden words. We have to remember that we are representatives of Christ and others are watching what we do and say. Forming their view of God based on us. We should strive daily to act and talk in a way that will bring glory to the God we serve.
Colossians 3:8 (ESV)
8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
Ephesians 5:4 (ESV)
4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
Matthew 12:36 (ESV)
36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,
How we communicate with other believers is of the utmost importance as well. The Bible warns us not to bite and devour one another. Even if we have opposing views we should still strive to communicate in kindness, patience, and most of all brotherly love. If we have a differing opinion we should share it but in a way that builds the other person up not that only causes them to get upset or angry. That will do nothing but cause division with the body. Sadly it can even lead others away from God and back to a life of sin. Is that really what you want to cause by using speech that is improper for a Christian?
Galatians 5:15 (ESV)
15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)
11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Proper speech begins first in the mind. Before you speak, remember the teaching of James. Do your best to listen to what the other person has to say. Take time to really think about what you are saying and how you are going to say it. All the while trying to not get angry. A conversation in anger will only drive two parties farther apart. Which as Christians is the exact opposite of what we are trying to do.
James 1:19 (ESV)
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
It is also important to pause and ask yourself how would I feel if someone spoke to me like this. Would it cause me to really listen to what they say? Or would it cause me to get upset and only look for a way to lob stones back at them? You know the kind of language that would have an impact on you. So try to talk to others like that and be a blessing, not a curse.
I truly hope this article has been a blessing to you. Helping you to see that not only what you say but how you say it matters. You would be amazed at the impact you could have on this world if you would only apply the proper form of speech as a Christian. Just be sure that you apply the teaching of this article not only in spoken word but in written word as well. A rude or aggressive comment online can be just as hurtful and detrimental to the faith as a conversation in person can. So think before you type and strive for your speech to always be edifying to the one you are speaking to.
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